"Herstory"

Seth Meyers: March is National Women's History Month. Here to comment is our own Will Forte.

Will Forte: Thank you, Seth. Hello. I am here because I could not be more excited about Women's History Month -- or, should I say "Women's Herstory Month".

Seth Meyers: Oh.

Will Forte: You see how I just changed the word "History" for the word "Herstory", Seth?

Seth Meyers: Yeah. I-I saw that.

Will Forte: So, uh, to celebrate this great occasion, I did a lot of research and wrote a pretty amazing song about Great Women in Herstory. I did it again. Did you see that?

Seth Meyers: Yeah.

Will Forte: And this song is SO good, that I've been trying to get every high school in America to teach it in class. But it's been a tough sell because, full disclosure, I've been asking them for a lot of money to use it. And they're being real cheapskates about it. Hey, look -- I know that $50,000 per school is a lot of money. But I ask you, you stupid high schools of America: How do you put a price on women's herstory? Did you see what I did there?

Seth Meyers: Yeah. No, I see it every time.

Will Forte: Okay. Anyway, you be the judge. Here's the song. It is called "Women's Herstory: Did You See What I Did?" [ he riffs ] I like to start with a little riffing at the beginning.

Seth Meyers: Sure.

Will Forte: So -- and one, two, three, four!

[ singing ]

"Betsy Ross made a flag
Rosa Parks sat on a bus
Nancy Pelosi, government
Emily Dickinson, books.

Good job, women!
Good job, women!
You should have been paid more money than men.
Good job, women!
Terrific job, women!
Your history is now "herstory" -- See what I did there?

Sally Ride, space woman
Mary Tyler Moore threw that hat
Diane Keaton wore a tie like a dude
And Helen Keller said "Waaa!"

Good job, women!
Good job, women!
Enjoy the month of March, 'cause that's all you get.
Good job, women!
And good song, Will Forte!
What good information that should be taught in school.

High schools of America, what are you thiiiinkiiiing?
Kids should learn about the wife of President Lincoln -- I do not know her name.
I'm sorry, this section is kind of a digression
But I just wanted everyone to know what dicks the high schools are being.
But back to women now!

Miss Piggy, talking pig
Betty Crocker, cake
The Snapple Lady was a Snapple salesman
Gandhi is a man, he is not on the list.

Good job, women!
Bad job, high schools!
What a great song, I think it's worth fifty grand.
Cheap, cheap high schools!
Run by a-holes!
I'm going to start my own school and teach only this song!

You dipstick high school!
You brought this on yourself!
Wait 'til I start my own school and take all of your kids!

Will Forte High School!
Where all of the kids ace the Women's History portion OF THEIR S.A.T's!"

Suck it American high schools! You guys are freakin' herstory -- Did you see what I did there?

Seth Meyers: I did! Will Forte, everyone! Thank you!

Will Forte: Thank you.